SPIRITUAL LIFE DICTIONARY

FRIENDSHIP 

Photo: R.Massaro (C)2013SpiritSinging
Our Lady of the Elms Convent Akron, Ohio

Friendship plays an important role in the writings of St. Teresa of Jesus (Avila).  She desired to make foundations of monasteries, so that she could gain more good friends for Jesus Christ. She exhorted her nuns to be good friends of Jesus. She speaks of true friendship in her writings as "spiritual love."

St. Teresa also warned of the dangers of excess love in friendships. "Particular friendships" in the convent were prohibited.  These were friendships in which a nun sought the company of another, excluding the other sisters.  The nuns were not to greet each other with terms of endearment, such as, " dear, and "sweetheart." St. Teresa instructed her sisters to save these terms of affection for the Beloved, Our Lord.

Speaking of true friendship, St. Teresa describes the person who possesses this gift:

I say once again that spiritual love seems to be imitating that love which the good lover Jesus had for us...These lovers cannot in their hearts be insincere with those they love; if they see them deviate from the path or commit some faults they immediately tell them about it. They cannot help but do so...nor are they going to flatter or hide anything from the other, either that other person mends his ways or the friendship is broken...

When you know some person like this, Sisters, let the Mother prioress diligently strive that he speak with you. Love such persons as much as you like. They must be few, but the Lord does desire that it be known when someone has reached perfection...

This spiritual love is the kind of love I would desire us to have. Even though in the beginning it is not so perfect, the Lord will gradually perfect it. 
The Way of Perfection, Chap. 7, No. 4-5.

Perhaps many people will remember St. Teresa's famous line which illustrates the intimate friendship she enjoyed with the Lord. After she fell in a mud pond, Jesus spoke to her and said, "That is how I treat all my friends." She responded with her wonderful sense of humor, "Perhaps that is why you have so few!"  

Fr. Adolphe Tanquerey, in his classic work, The Spiritual Life, speaks about the Sanctification of Friendship:

Friendship can become a means of sanctification or a serious obstacle to perfection accordingly as it is supernatural or merely natural and sentimental in character.

Three important advantages of true friendship, especially for the priest in the ministry:

1.  A friend is a protection for virtue...We need an equal to whom we can speak with perfect freedom. If we do not find such a one, we are liable to be betrayed into indiscreet disclosures to persons unworthy of our trust...

2.  A friend is also a sympathetic counsellor to whom we willingly bring our doubts and offer our difficulties in order that he may help us to reach a solution. He is likewise a mentor, prudent and devoted, who observing our ways and aware of what is said of us, will tell us the truth and save us from many an act of imprudence.

3.  Lastly, a friend is a comforter who will listen with sympathy to the story of our sorrows, and who will find in his heart words of comfort and encouragement.
The Spiritual Life, Fr. Adolphe Tanquerey, Pg. 285-287.


St. Teresa teaches us that prayer is a conversation between friends, between our soul and the One whom we know loves us, Jesus Christ.  He is our true friend. He is the one who never disappoints or fails us. Let us place all of our trust in him.




Peace be with you!
Rosemarie, ocds

The Fruits of the Holy Spirit- Eighth Hymn of Virtue: Patience

Eighth Hymn of Virtue: Patience

It is my belief that a lack of patience is one of the most common stumbling blocks to spiritual people who wish to progress in holiness. It is a struggle to endure patiently what God sends us even for those not spiritually inclined. We are a fast-paced, instant gratification oriented society. It takes extra-ordinary grace to remain patient and loving in our family life, place of business, and in the market place.

Patience and peace go together and we know that peace of heart flows from a life of faithful prayer and meditation. If we are at peace we prepare ourselves for the moments God wishes to test us.

St. Therese is an example of someone who prepared herself to practice patience. She says:

At meditation I was for a long time always near a sister who never stopped fidgeting, with either her rosary or something else. Perhaps I was the only one who heard her, as my ears are very sharp, but I could not tell you how it irritated me. What I wanted to do was to turn and stare at her until she stopped her noise, but deep down I knew it was better to endure it patiently-first for the love of God and, secondly, so as not to upset her. So, I made no fuss, though sometimes I was soaked with sweat under the strain and my prayer was nothing but the prayer of suffering.

Story of a soul, Chapter 10

We can see in the life of the saints the same struggles that we have with attaining virtue. If bearing her suffering patiently caused St. Therese to sweat, who knows what I will have to suffer to remain patient and loving in my response to the world and my neighbor.

Fr. Tanquerey in the Spiritual Life teaches that the degrees of patience correspond to the three stages of the spiritual life:

The First Stage:

*At the beginning suffering is accepted as coming from God; without murmur, without resentment, in hope of heavenly rewards.

The Second Stage:

* Patience, in its second degree,makes us eager to embrace suffering, in union with Jesus Christ, and in order to make us more like that Divine Model.

The Third Stage:

*This leads to the third degree of patience, the desire and the love of suffering for the sake of God Whom one wishes to glorify, and for the sake of souls, for whose sanctification one wants to labor.

Spiritual Life-#1089, #1090, #1091

The Church teaches that one of the spiritual works of mercy is to bear sufferings patiently. Let us strive to be merciful to ourselves and to others by bearing the small things of life in patience. Why should we let these things disturb our peace of heart?

St. Teresa of Jesus (Avila) teaches us to not go looking for crosses. She teaches us that we should accept the cross that is presented to us each day. If we want to progress in holiness of life we must be found faithful in small things--be able to endure patiently the small irritations and annoyances of people and situations before the Lord will entrust us with a deeper union with him. Let us pray for each other.

Peace be with you!

Rosemarie, ocds

Spiritual Life Dictionary

Today's Term:

The Illuminative Way

Once the soul is purified from past faults by a long and arduous penance, in keeping with the number and gravity of those faults, once it has been grounded in virtue through the practice of meditation , of mortification, and resistance to the disordered inclinations and to temptations, then it enters into the illuminative way. this stage of the spiritual life is thus named because the great aim of the soul is now the imitation, the following of Christ.

St. Teresa of Jesus (Avila) describes the soul in the illuminative way. The soul that dwells in the Third Mansion of the Interior Castle is an advanced soul that can be described as:

*Possess an intense desire not to offend His Majesty

*They avoid venial sins

* Have a love for penance

*They are faithful to prayer

*They use their time well

*They perform works of charity towards their neighbor

*Everything about them is in perfect order: their words, their clothes, their homes.

The Spiritual Life, #961, Fr. Adolphe Tanquerey

I recently saw Fr. Groeschel on television and he gave his own description of a person in the Illuminative way. He said the person in this state finds it very easy to pray. You may see these people in church. They come early and stay late. They love to pray.

I think Fr. Groeschel's simple explanation says it well. As Secular Carmelites we can ask ourselves, "Do I love to pray?" Has prayer permeated my entire being to the extent that I am praying constantly? As Carmelites seeking union with God this should be our heart's desire: a more intimate union with Our Lord. Let us pray for each other that we be given the gift of true prayer that stems from purity of heart.

Peace be with you!

Rosemarie, OCDS

First Flower of Consecrated Life: Chastity

                            The Three-Fold Flower of Consecrated Life:Chastity, Poverty and Obedience

The novices in our lay Carmelite community will be making their promises in June at our annual retreat. The other members will renew their promises of Chastity, Poverty and Obedience. Today, I would like to concentrate on the promise of chastity.

We will profess/renew the promises in the above stated order. Fr. Michael Griffin, OCD explains:

Now you will see that the first place is given to Chastity, then to Poverty and finally to obedience. This order is really quite ancient in the Church, and it stresses that it is through chastity that the friar or nun gives his whole and undivided love to the Lord, then wants to live like the poor Christ, and finally is willing to carry out the wishes of those the Lord has appointed to lead him. And this, allowing for the differences, is what prevails in the making of promises by the secular Carmelite. I think the order is very suggestive for meditation and reflection on this step in the life of the Lay Carmelite.

From our Rule:

Article 12

The Promise of chastity binds the Secular Carmelites to the observance of this virtue in accordance with their state in life, and does not in any way impede a change of state. The promise expresses a conscious intention to respect the law of God in a way proper to the unmarried, married or widowed state, as the case may be, and to bear a special witness, as befits those called to intimacy with God, to the Beatitude: "Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God" (Mt. 5,8)

When we hear the word, "Chastity" this usually brings to mind thoughts of the body. But we must look deeper into this virtue. Chastity does not mean only to keep the body pure, but as our rule states, we must try to attain purity of heart, in-fact, to return to our baptismal innocence in which we are pure, innocent children of God ready to be welcomed into the Kingdom.

As Carmelites, of course, we look to Our Lady, she who is the chaste-Virgin, the Ever-Virgin, Mother of God. We look to her to help us keep pure in body and spirit and to imitate her humility and modesty.

Humility is the key to chastity. Why? Because we must "get over" trying to please others and live to please God alone. It takes great humility to not care about what pleases others. I'm not speaking of acts of charity or sharing our joy with others, but of the great lengths we go to and the great effort we make sometimes in our dress and speech to impress and please other people.

From Fr. Tanquerey:

If we love God with our whole soul, if we love Jesus Christ above all things, we shall be less inclined to give our affections to creatures.

This generous love for Jesus we draw from prayer, from the reception of Holy Communion, from silent adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, and we render it habitual and permanent through that intimate union with Our Lord.

To this we add a great devotion to Mary, the Virgin Undefiled. Her name breathes forth purity. The Spiritual Life, pg. 529

Let us look at this virtue within the symbolism of marriage, since it is the spiritual marriage we are all trying to attain. We turn to Jesus Christ and his bride the Church for the perfect model of marriage between God and mankind. Jesus Christ is the model of faithfulness to his bride. Even though we sinners are unfaithful, he remains faithful.

Being chaste means being faithful to the Commandments of God. Let's look at the first commandment as an example: "I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no strange gods before me." God is commanding us to take no other lover but himself. Carmelite spirituality, through the teachings of St. John of the Cross, especially help us to detach ourselves from the love of creatures and created things and to embrace the cross-that holy instrument that binds us to our Beloved.

What are some of the qualities of a chaste person?

First the practical side of a chaste person:

*Respect for self and others

*Carry themselves with a holy dignity that is free of arrogance

*A humble person

*No suggestive talk or clothing

*Does not flirt with opposite sex

*Does not use obscene language

*Does not watch obscene movies

*Does not read obscene books

Spiritual aspects of a chaste person:

*Is single-hearted for God

*Is simple and childlike in their love and trust in God

*Is faithful to their promises

*Flees from suggestive thoughts and temptations

*Does not form inappropriate attachment to spiritual director

Practicing the virtue of chastity, with the help of the Holy Spirit helps us to conquer our flesh and live the life of the Spirit in purity.

Let us pray for our members who will profess chastity, poverty and obedience and for our members who will renew their promises. We only need to turn to our Holy Mother of Mt. Carmel, Virgin most Pure to help us attain the crown of holy Chastity.

Peace be with you!

Rosemarie, OCDS