From the life of St. Teresa of Jesus (Avila)
One night, being so ill that I wanted to excuse myself from mental prayer, I took my rosary in order to occupy myself in vocal prayer. I tried not to recollect my intellect, even though externally I was recollected in the oratory. When the Lord desires, these devices are of little avail. I was doing this for only a short while when a spiritual rapture came upon me so forcefully that I had no power to resist it. It seemed to me I was brought into heaven, and the first persons I saw there were my father and mother. I saw things so marvelous--in as short a time as it takes to recite a Hail Mary--that I indeed remained outside myself; the experience seemed to me too great a favor. I say it lasted a short time, but perhaps it took a little longer; the impression is that the time was very short. I feared lest the experience be some illusion, although it didn't seem so to me. I didn't know what to do, because I was very ashamed to go to my confessor about this. I don't think the shame was from humility, but I thought he would make fun of me and say: Oh, what a St. Paul you are, or a St. Jerome, that you see heavenly things! And that these glorious saints experienced similar things made me more afraid. I did nothing but weep a great deal, for I didn't think there was any basis for my having such an experience. Finally, however much I disliked doing so, I went to my confessor; I never dared to remain silent about such things--however much I regretted having to speak of them--on account of the great fear I had of being deceived. Since he saw I was so anxious, he consoled me from my troubled feelings.
As time went on, it happened--and continues to happen sometimes--that the Lord showed me greater secrets.
The Book of Her Life Chap. 38, No. 1
St. Teresa, pray for us!
Peace be with you!
Rosemarie, OCDS
